How to cope with loneliness at university

Growing up in Rome, Adalberto Dionisi always knew he wanted to go abroad for university. He spoke good English and believed a law degree from a UK university would stand him in good stead professionally. “In the early days, I was very excited about moving and becoming independent,” says Dionisi, who gained a place at the University of Manchester. But then feelings of homesickness started to creep in. “I realised if I was in Italy, I could get a train and be home in a few hours if there’s a problem, or I want to see my mum. Here, I can only rely on myself.”
He adds: “[Moving away] has helped me grow as a person, as an individual, but it’s definitely come with periods of loneliness and homesickness.”
Going to university is a big moment in a young person’s life. For many, it will be the first time they’re living away from home. That’s exciting and daunting in equal measure, and feelings of homesickness – defined as stress or anxiety caused by separation from people or places you know and love – are common. Research by student accommodation provider Yugo found almost two-thirds (61%) of students aged 19 to 25 were concerned about feeling homesick when it came to moving away for the first time.
There’s an expectation that university will be the best time of your life, so it can be disconcerting if you don’t immediately feel that way, says Sarah Richardson, head of student services at the University of Derby. She’s seen symptoms such as disturbed sleep, eating difficulties, problems with focus and concentration, and increased feelings of stress, anxiety and even depression. However, most students start to feel better within a few weeks, she says. “It’s a natural reaction to a big life change. You’re being separated from all that’s familiar to you. Once you start to feel part of a new community, those feelings naturally start to disappear.”
At Derby, the student services team works closely with academic and halls of residence colleagues to spot the early warning signs that someone might be struggling – such as if they stop attending lectures, for example. There’s an on-site GP, counsellors and mental health practitioners who can provide support, a new student hub providing a one-stop-shop for students looking for support, and a peer-to-peer mental health support app, TalkCampus, which launched last year. “That’s been hugely popular in supporting student mental health,” says Richardson. Joining societies and sports teams can also be helpful. “Engaging with hobbies is a really great way of making connections and doing something you enjoy, which may also be familiar from home.”
According to government figures, nearly all students (92%) said they felt lonely at least once during the 2022/23 academic year. Four years ago the University of Manchester introduced a social prescribing team to address the disconnect and isolation some students experience. Paula Monaghan, part of the team, says: “We can be a little bit more hands on [than traditional counsellors]. I’ve gone to a crafting session with a student, for example, because they felt too anxious to go alone.”
The team has also set up a gardening for wellbeing programme with the university’s botanical gardens research facility, which has proved popular. “We get students who come along every week. Gardening has such a positive impact on mental health, and they’re doing it alongside other students who have also experienced that kind of struggle. They know they’re not alone.”
One of the misconceptions about homesickness, she adds, is that it only happens in the first year. In fact, her team works with freshers all the way up to PhD students to help them build coping strategies. “Homesickness can hit any time. The approach we take is very focused on what that person enjoys, and what their hobbies and interests are. How can we help them connect with that in their new home?”
For Dionisi, making new friends while keeping in touch with a few friends at home, getting involved with the philosophy society and becoming a student ambassador have all helped him settle in the UK. “I had a tremendous fear of interacting with people,” he says. “But talking to a greater variety of people has helped me get over that fear of not being understood or being defined as Italian. It’s actually very nice to speak to people whose backgrounds are very different from mine.”
1. Be prepared
Richardson recommends going to an open day at your chosen university in advance so it’s more familiar when you start in September. It will also help if you can get to grips with domestic tasks such as cooking, laundry and money management. “It’s the small things when you feel challenged that can sometimes overwhelm you.”
2. Stay connected with homeTalk to family and friends from home, but avoid constantly checking what your friends from home are up to on social media. Make a date to visit home midway through the first term to give yourself something to look forward to.
3. Make your room feel homely
Monaghan recommends adding home comforts, such as photographs of loved ones, to your university room. “Make sure you’re making your new environment feel like a new safe space for you.”
4. Create good healthy habitsExercising, getting enough sleep, eating well and just generally building a good routine can all help students feel better, says Richardson.
5. Spend time outside
Sometimes students, particularly those from warmer climes, can be reluctant to spend time outside, says Monaghan. As evident from Manchester’s gardening group, time spent in green space can greatly help lift someone’s mood.
6. Join a society or sports team
Most universities have a great variety of sports teams and societies, and there’s usually something for everyone. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests.
7. Tell people how you feel
While some students can feel embarrassed admitting they feel homesick, it’s perfectly normal. “Being able to talk helps you identify you’re not alone in that experience, you’re not as isolated as you may feel,” says Monaghan.
8. Reach out for helpThere is help available if you’re struggling and those feelings aren’t going away, says Richardson. “It can mean the difference between a great university experience and a more bumpy journey.”
For more guidance on the right course for you, check out the Guardian university league tables for 2024. The Guardian league tables for 2025 will be out on 7 September in print and online.
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